you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
