i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
