I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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