white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
