I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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