were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
