Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
