even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I understand Curling. That high.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
