I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
