people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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