im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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