I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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