ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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