Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
