he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
