The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
