i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I currently don't understand fingers.
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