Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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