Three words: puerto rican gang bang
where am i from again
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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