I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
