hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
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He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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