God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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