toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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