The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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