You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
