Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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