he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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