WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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