Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control

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(310): View more from California

I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"

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(613): View more from Ontario

i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.

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(631): View more from New York

OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester

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(334): View more from Alabama

She threw up in the hot tub how's your night

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?

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