Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often

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(845): View more from New York

she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just commented on the education level of his penis.

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(518): View more from New York

Wow. Last night.

(1-518): View more from New York

I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"

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(847): View more from Illinois

On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties

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