Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  we dont do blackfin have a good night :)

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  (248): we dont do blackfin have a good night :) http://tfl.nu/42ei
  Replies (4) Good night (626) Bad night (666)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet

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  (239): Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet http://tfl.nu/je6a
  Replies (30) Good night (969) Bad night (8752)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,

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  (973): I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry, http://tfl.nu/9gek
  Replies (28) Good night (6174) Bad night (820)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.

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  (404): You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised. http://tfl.nu/0upx
  Replies (2) Good night (2175) Bad night (1063)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.

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  (860): the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real. http://tfl.nu/2bbh
  Replies (5) Good night (4796) Bad night (883)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  #1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home

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  (859): #1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home http://tfl.nu/wpbx
  Replies (16) Good night (3375) Bad night (973)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.

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  (732): I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/4od2
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (1643)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.

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  (613): Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day. http://tfl.nu/48u4
  Replies (10) Good night (2127) Bad night (628)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.

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  (203): I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday. http://tfl.nu/b5pa
  Replies (3) Good night (532) Bad night (1578)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

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  (281): Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me. http://tfl.nu/lutc
  Replies (11) Good night (530) Bad night (1590)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.

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  (414): He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married. http://tfl.nu/rsec
  Replies (7) Good night (712) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."

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  (734): Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed? (734): You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it." http://tfl.nu/yuio
  Replies (4) Good night (1022) Bad night (318)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.

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  (570): Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep. http://tfl.nu/bc4p
  Replies (1) Good night (837) Bad night (256)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.

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  (902): When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know. http://tfl.nu/c52r
  Replies (4) Good night (827) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.

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  (781): So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO. http://tfl.nu/2fm5
  Replies (6) Good night (508) Bad night (365)

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