Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!