Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?

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  (312): Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place? http://tfl.nu/b6u5
  Replies (1) Good night (2163) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Tell her she can't have a vagina

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  (517): Tell her she can't have a vagina http://tfl.nu/krch
  Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  either way. win, win.

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  (810): My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches. (1-810): either way. win, win. http://tfl.nu/dnjj
  Replies (37) Good night (3375) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.

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  (301): I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa. http://tfl.nu/sbm1
  Replies (91) Good night (31402) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  What?!

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!

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  (913): Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom... (1-913): What?! (913): Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!! http://tfl.nu/4m0s
  Replies (35) Good night (1040) Bad night (8988)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.

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  (651): He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient. http://tfl.nu/9tdu
  Replies (19) Good night (1191) Bad night (6576)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.

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  (440): my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement. http://tfl.nu/zd8a
  Replies (16) Good night (5770) Bad night (1606)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL

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  (206): Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL http://tfl.nu/gjdn
  Replies (15) Good night (1170) Bad night (3814)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.

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  (386): Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole. http://tfl.nu/vrpb
  Replies (6) Good night (731) Bad night (2128)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.

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  (864): I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan. http://tfl.nu/kwpf
  Replies (2) Good night (850) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!

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  (262): one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday! http://tfl.nu/b0h1
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.

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  (+61): I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up. http://tfl.nu/br5b
  Replies (1) Good night (603) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.

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  (931): I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help. http://tfl.nu/1bsh
  Replies (1) Good night (323) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.

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  (917): Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch. http://tfl.nu/ua31
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.

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  (416): In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/a66n
  Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (192)

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