If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We don't watch enough power rangers
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face