Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
