I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
