Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize