i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
