I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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