Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
