what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
