i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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