hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
