fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize