So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
