So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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