Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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