I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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