Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
