All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
