Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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