They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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