they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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