I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
