11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize