Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
