this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize