he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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